my high school life

-//- It Can't Be Helped -//-

2008-08-04T04:11:00.000-07:00

Monday, July 28, 2008, we didn’t have classes because of the typhoon “Igme” though it didn’t rain. My mother went to her work but my father didn’t. Though he didn’t go to his work, he wasn’t staying in our house because he have many things to attend to. It turned out that only the three of us children were at home.
As always, it is a normal vacation day. Because I was almost done with my assignments, I surf the internet. Again, I did my hobby. But this time, the internet was working properly so it’s until I stop (It is a normal but abnormal instance again.). I almost finish the manga I became interested at and the recommended one because of this. But a miracle happened! I surrender already when it’s 6 pm! I stop because I need a spoiler. That was the reason in my mind but I thought also maybe, I’m getting matured by knowing my tasks and putting limits because I don’t think that I’ll stop if I just need a spoiler. That is just an invalid reason if I am before.
Speaking of putting limitations, I should put this to an end because I need to do the most important thing to me- sleeping. Until next time!

-//- Back To Where I Belong -//-

2008-08-04T04:10:00.000-07:00

This school year, I manage to make my life balanced for studies and hobbies. I finished what I should finish last vacation about manga and anime except for the ongoing but they are released weekly and monthly so I don’t have problem. But I accidentally saw a manga that interests me so the habit started again.
(I would not say things about manga and anime because It won’t be finished if I will.) As I searched in the network I’m looking at for some updates for a specific manga, I saw another one being advertised in the network. I saw one chapter summary and it made me interested so I search for the details about it. It has few chapters and still ongoing so I tried. Of course, this triggered my habit. I couldn’t balance myself anymore so I told it to Jenny and it lessens my anxiousness. It’s a good thing our internet connection is not unlimited because of the router so I can stop. But I’m still doing it every night.
One day, Jenny introduced it also to Darleen. It just happens that she always read every night because she’s finishing one. As I told it to her, she also became interested. And as a trade, she recommended also another one to me. From that day on, we are talking about those things and I think I would have a hard time balancing myself again.

-//- Sorry -//-

2008-08-04T04:05:00.000-07:00

I am a person who doesn’t want to hurt or offend people. The people around me also consider my words not offending and if ever I utter an offending sentence, they just don’t mind it. I don’t even encounter problems about it.
This time, I offended someone. At first, I did mind it because the person is a he and I thought it’s alright. But then, my conscience was triggered by my classmate, you might say. I didn’t know what to do or how to react because I encountered a different reaction than I always see with other people. I say sorry but I guess it didn’t work. Maybe the reason is that I’m foolish in saying those words because I am not used to say sorry. Though I’m guilty, my friends told me that the person is just sensitive and it’s not my fault anymore so I didn’t mind it anymore.
After that day, I felt that it is normal but abnormal (sorry for this sentence because I’m really not clear about my ideas. Also, I’m used to saying this already and other people can understand it so I won’t exclude this). It should be a usual day for me because my life is peaceful with no disturbance but I felt like it was unusual for my life not to be disturbed by anyone every time I relaxed on my seat.
Well, this is life. I can’t blame anyone because this really happens. Just wait for the next news in my blog post if ever I’ll still include because this is not too important to me. It’s just that I really obey my conscience that much.

-//- my dad -//-

2008-07-23T04:14:00.000-07:00

People’s first impression to my dad might be a “scary” one but if you know him, he is a great man and dad. Though his not perfect, he has characteristics that I would say rare to have it all in one person. He is intelligent and a good leader in his works and house. He is a leader in his work which wants all their projects to be organized and done immediately. In our house, when my siblings and I are quarrelling, he makes right decisions and solves the problem. He is also generous and kind. Since he lived as a poor one during his childhood days, he helps the children who are collecting garbage by giving them our garbage and our old toys. He also helps people as long as he can do it. He is most of all a lenient and loving father. He always cracks jokes to me because we both have a “shallow” happiness and give what my siblings want if he have money and he go into other country for business trip. He loves us in a way that he want us to be safe by driving us to where we’ll go, fetching us if he have time and not letting us go in a far place unless we have chaperon.

-//- my family -//-

2008-07-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

-//- Purpose in life? -//-

2008-07-01T04:10:00.000-07:00

"What is the purpose of my existence?" is indeed a difficult question to answer. If I would answer as a Christian, it would be as simple as to give happiness to my parents, take care of God's creation and live as a God's follower. But then, i know these answers are not really "valid".
Well, maybe the purpose of my existence is that a girl like me with a life like mine can prove to oneself things which aren't really in one's "system". Also, maybe to learn how to be a "true" person is one of those.

I really can't figure out the true purpose of my existence. I believed that God is the only one who knows the truth. I ,most of the time, trying to figure out things but this time, I'll pass. I'll just leave it to His decision if ever He wants me to know the purpose of my existence. As for now, live my life as to what I believe is right is the best thing to do.

-//- Making things balance aren't easy -//-

2008-06-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

Before the school year started, I decided that I 'll quit fooling around and really study. But then, I forgot something very important which will be my responsibility in school. I would be an older sister in school.

It started when I helped my brother in his assignments though I wasn't done with mine. Because I had only 1 assignment left, I knew I could finish it quickly. And so I helped my brother because it was almost 11 pm. The next days, I had many assignments and I wasn't helping him so he was always asking my parents. They didn't know what to do though they wanted to help him so they would always call me and ask me. I always sleep late everynight because of this.

June 18, 2008 came and I had many things to do. While I'm editing my blog, my mother was asking me why I didn't brought my statistics book for my brother to use it. I didn't answer but in my thoughts, when I was 1st year and my sister was 3rd year, I didn't ask any help from my sister and parents on how will I answer my assignments though I didn't have the book but I with my classmates photocopied the pages we need in our assignments. Then after a few minutes, my mom asked me why did I returned the other book already since my brother had a new assignment and the answer would be found there easily. I didn't answer again to avoid "fight" because I still have many things to do. But I want to say that borrowing it was just a temporary solution because of the irresponsibility of their great son. Also, do I realy have to be engage in his problems despite that I also have more and harder assignments? After I finish with my blog, they called me to their room. They wanted to give me lecture about not bringing MY books. I got irritated because their wasting my time so I told them what was in my mind , got out of the room and closed the door loudly though it's not intentional. Then I returned to my room, closed the door, did my assignments and slept.

In the end, I still helped my brother with his assignments in the morning because he's not yet done with it. I realized that I was wrong on how I told them things and closed the door. But I didn't regret saying those things because those were true.

-//- 1st day of school -//-

2008-06-16T04:32:00.000-07:00

We had our 1st day of school last June 10, 2008. I felt that I wasn't ready to go to school because I knew it would be different than before. Everything would be different and we couldn't bring back those fun times as the same as before in our school bus and especially in our room. I wasn't excited to have this day. Actually, if it's possible, I'd like to stay where we were-as 2nd year students.
As I stepped in our school bus, I already felt different. I felt I wasn't comfortable, it's different and I was missing things though I expected that it wouldn't be the same. We were dominated by 1st years. Although were just 4 "originals" there, we're noisy and happily reminiscing the fun times before.
When we were at school, I couldn't feel that I am in my section and with my classmates because we were in a new room with new adviser and new difficult subjects, I'd say. But the main reason of how I felt was because we're only 25 students in our room and five talkative, hyper and easy-to-go-with classmates when we were 2nd yrs. were not our classmates now. Although they were coming in our room every free time, it's a bit different. It's like there's a thing that made it natural to not be a bit close to each other and noisy in our room.
As they say, "Change is the only thing constant in the world". I have no choice but to go with the flow and to avoid reminiscing things frequently or else I would be upset and sad in my entire life. Until here!